There is something that Kurt said that had been haunting me lately … even before this weekend. He spent a lot of time trying to raise awareness against bullying, speaking from his own experiences about what it was like to be bullied growing up. In Kurt’s case maybe it was for maybe being gay, maybe for being a little overweight and most likely just for whatever stupidly arbitrary reason kids pick up to relentlessly select a target and go after him or her in hopes that he or she will break (and hopefully they will get to witness it … otherwise it is no fun.)
Kurt lost his father when he was very young. He talked about the day his father passed, his body was still in the house and there was confusion in the household. The doorbell rang. Kurt’s distraught mother sent him to answer the door. When Kurt opened the door he saw his schoolmates, who immediately punched him in the stomach and ran away. I remember Kurt saying that even in that moment he couldn’t have peace and how he was still never really able to get over that.
There is a certain meanness in this world that is so cruel that, to truly comprehend it, I believe it really can drive one “mad”. I don’t think we can ever make that sort of meanness go away. Maybe we can mitigate it to some extent. Maybe we can sanitize it. Maybe we as individuals and as a society can learn to “process” its effects upon us. But I don’t think we can ever make it truly go away.